Unforgotten

My wife Michella and I recently watched and discussed Unforgotten, an incredibly well-done British crime drama series starring Nicola Walker and Sanjeev Bhaskar as police detectives. The plot centers around investigating a decades-old crime nearly 40 years ago. The series, part of the PBS Masterpiece collection, is exceptional, and I’ve been watching shows from that lineup for most of my life in some form or another.

A "trigger warning," though this particular season delves into some deeply troubling material—uncovering the sexual abuse and assault of several children, now grown up and living as adults. The show powerfully illustrates the hidden damage many carry from such trauma, the emotional, physical, and spiritual toll that lingers long after the abuse has ended. The wreckage beneath the surface is often invisible, yet it manifests in the characters’ fractured lives, showing how trauma can lead to disintegration in so many areas.

What struck me most was the depiction of survival. The characters have endured their personal prisons in different ways—some isolating themselves emotionally and struggling to let others get close. In contrast, others live in constant fear, waiting for the next wave of pain to hit. It’s as if they’re serving a life sentence of shame, guilt, and unbearable pain with no way out.

In recovery circles, I’ve heard stories like these over and over—50, 60, 100 times. The stories of trauma, survival, and the search for healing are tragically common. Some people are fortunate enough to have someone who cares and who tries to help. Others, sadly, don’t have that support. Even those who want to help often don’t know how to ask the right questions or provide support.

The most important takeaway? ASK. Keep asking. Ask again. Try to help, and when that doesn’t work, try again later. We can’t afford to give up on those who are hurting. Assume people are carrying some pain and offer help anyway. It’s crucial to check in with those around us—ask how they’re doing, if they’re alright, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Watching Unforgotten was an emotional experience—sometimes downright hard to get through because of the raw, realistic portrayal of pain and unraveling lives. But it was also a powerful reminder to pay attention, ask uncomfortable questions, and practice compassion. We never truly know the weight someone else is carrying or how long they’ve been carrying it.

I felt compelled to share this tonight because the show profoundly struck me. It reminded me of the importance of vigilance, kindness, and persistence when dealing with those we encounter—especially when they’re hurting.

-Bryan