Why Life Rarely Goes as Planned

Life rarely goes according to plan. You might have a vision of where you'll be in five or ten years, yet somehow, reality takes a completely different turn. Maybe you wanted to be in a high-flying career by now, settled down in a picturesque house, or living in a city you dreamed of. But life has a funny way of throwing unexpected challenges your way. Sometimes, it even feels like the universe is actively conspiring against those carefully laid plans.

But here’s the thing: while life may not turn out the way you hoped, it can still be meaningful, fulfilling, and maybe even better in ways you never expected. Sure, it might not look like the picture-perfect vision you had in mind, but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck with a life of dissatisfaction. The key is learning how to pivot, adapt, and act on what's in front of you, instead of getting trapped in self-pity, resentment, or anger.

Why Life Rarely Goes as Planned

There are countless reasons why life rarely turns out the way you expect. External factors like job layoffs, health issues, relationship breakdowns, and global events (hello, pandemics) can completely derail your plans. But even internal factors, such as changing priorities, emotional growth, or realizing that your original dream no longer fits who you are, can shift the trajectory of your life.

The frustration comes when we cling too tightly to those original plans, believing that any deviation is a failure. We get stuck in a cycle of disappointment, thinking that if life didn’t go the way we wanted, it went wrong. But that’s not necessarily true.

The Danger of Resentment and Self-Pity

When life doesn’t turn out as expected, it’s easy to feel like the world has wronged you. You might feel cheated out of opportunities or start resenting people who seem to have it all together. Maybe you blame others—parents, bosses, or exes—for why things didn’t work out. Or, even worse, you might start blaming yourself, sinking into self-pity and self-hatred, convinced that you’re somehow broken or unworthy of success and happiness.

But here’s the hard truth: staying in that mental space only hurts you. Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to suffer. Meanwhile, self-pity keeps you stuck, convincing you that there’s no point in trying because the universe is against you. And self-hatred? It’s the surest way to sabotage any chance of future happiness.

Yes, these feelings are valid. Life can be unfair, and people can do you wrong. But dwelling in those emotions, as justified as they may feel, will only make things worse.

Choosing to Act

What you do with the hand you’ve been dealt is far more important than the hand itself. Sure, life might have thrown a wrench in your plans, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still create something meaningful from what’s in front of you. You have the choice to either stay stuck or take action. And taking action—any action—is the first step toward creating a better future, even if it looks different from what you once imagined.

Here are a few steps to help shift your mindset and take action:

1. Acknowledge the Reality
   The first step in moving forward is accepting the situation for what it is. Life didn’t turn out as planned—that’s a fact. But it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It simply means the path has shifted. Let yourself feel the disappointment, but don’t live in it.

2. Forgive Yourself and Others

   Holding onto anger, regret, and blame will only weigh you down. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing bad behavior, but it does mean letting go of the emotional burden. Freeing yourself from resentment opens up space for healing and forward movement.

3. Start Where You Are

   You don’t need to wait for the "perfect" time or circumstances to begin making changes. Start with whatever you have right now, even if it feels small. That might mean making a list of things you want to work on, reaching out for help, or simply getting out of bed in the morning with a goal in mind.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

   There are many things in life that you can't control, but there are also a lot of things you can. You can control your attitude, your daily habits, and how you respond to challenges. By shifting your focus to what’s within your control, you regain a sense of power and autonomy over your life.

5. Do Something Different

   If you feel stuck, chances are, it’s time to shake things up. Try something new—a hobby, a new routine, or even changing your environment. Doing something different helps break old patterns of thought and behavior, opening up new perspectives and possibilities.

6. Live for Yourself

   At the end of the day, you have to live your life for yourself, not for others. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to meet other people’s expectations—parents, friends, society—but true fulfillment comes from pursuing what makes you happy. Living authentically for yourself may not always be easy, but it is infinitely more rewarding.

Misery vs. Action

Is taking action easier said than done? Absolutely. But guess what? Being miserable sucks a little bit worse. There’s nothing fun about staying stuck in a cycle of bitterness and despair. Even when taking action feels hard, it's often the better alternative to drowning in misery. The small steps you take today—whether it’s journaling, making a call, or trying something new—can lead to larger transformations over time. Each action, no matter how small, is a step away from pain and toward possibility.

Wrap Up: Your Life, Your Rules

Life isn’t perfect, and it doesn’t need to be. The real challenge is learning how to take what’s in front of you and make the best of it. Whether your journey looks like what you envisioned or not, it’s still yours to shape. So take action, let go of the bitterness, and start living for you—not for anyone else. Misery might seem like the easier path, but the road to a better life begins with a single step.

-Bryan